Corbin's Manuscript

Eat it

2009-10-14T23:38:27Z

thanks Comcast

2009-09-08T23:21:47Z

Swine Flu Parties

2009-08-24T20:45:23Z

What is CDC’s recommendation regarding "swine flu parties"?
"Swine flu parties" are gatherings during which people have close contact with a person who has novel H1N1 flu in order to become infected with the virus. The intent of these parties is for a person to become infected with what for many people has been a mild disease, in the hope of having natural immunity novel H1N1 flu virus that might circulate later and cause more severe disease.

CDC does not recommend "swine flu parties" as a way to protect against novel H1N1 flu in the future. While the disease seen in the current novel H1N1 flu outbreak has been mild for many people, it has been severe and even fatal for others. There is no way to predict with certainty what the outcome will be for an individual or, equally important, for others to whom the intentionally infected person may spread the virus.

*

People actually do this???? As I've mentioned before, Intelligence does not come free.

http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/qa.htm

Vodka Research

2009-08-07T20:36:00Z

As I was looking through a list of scientific journals at the Texas Medical Center Library, I stumbled upon this one:

Is that where they do the vodka research?

One Sock...

2009-08-07T20:32:20Z

That's where those disappearing socks go!
All about the miniature black hole in your dryer

tracking santa

2008-12-23T22:32:02Z

This concerns me. Read the about NORAD section. It's good to see that money is going to a good use.

blurped @ 2008-10-15T19:53:00

2008-10-16T00:53:43Z

6 secrets about me

1. Life is about books. No really, it is. Well, and mothballs (to protect the books of course)

2. Just because I'm quiet around you doesn't mean I don't like you. It just takes me a gazillion years to warm up.

3. I have now gone to war with cockroaches.

4. I can probably drink you under the table.

5. I'm probably naked, in the bathtub, reading.

6. I'm plotting to take over the world...or the library..which one I haven't yet decided.

POWERless

2008-09-22T20:25:31Z

What is this magic electricity they speak of? I have not been blessed by it.

a Hurricane IKE NO thank you letter

2008-09-17T15:29:39Z

Dear FEMA and others this may concern;

I’d like to thank you for all your help and support during this trivial time. You’ve been extremely helpful with all your local supply stations which are easily and quickly accessible throughout Houston. We were especially impressed by all your kind giving of ice and water within a reasonable distance of those like us with low or no gasoline. The way that they are so setup so that we can easily find them without needing internet or phone access was fantastic. It was wonderful how you managed to make sure that our national guard was fed and taken care of.

Furthermore, I’d like to thank Centerpoint Energy for your timely and expedient job of restoring power to us and our neighborhood businesses so that they could restock their shelves with much needed supplies.

I’d also like to thank the following:

- The Balinese room for taking one for the team

- All our elected officials who were there throughout this bad situation

- The palm and pecan tress that stood up so well

- The ice for not melting

- Our fence, which stood up to the wind

- The stable gas prices

- Our street for not flooding

- My neighbors roof for not flying off into my others neighbors roof

- The neighbor across the street for not having a television we could see out the window to mock us during the storm

- The humidity for not rising after the storm

- The ocean for preserving our precious landmarks

- The beer for not running out

- Ike for not being an asshole

Above all else I’d like to thank Mother Nature for this excellent weather and ALL OUR FRIENDS WHO OFFERED TO TAKE US IN.

Yours truly,

Houston, TX

Four-eared cat

2008-08-25T17:59:01Z

Check out this story about a four-eared cat

Here kiddy kiddy

2008-08-09T14:39:03Z

It's such a problem, there's a NETWORK

Salad Anyone?

2008-08-04T13:16:15Z

15 pounds down! That's 15 of these:

Fish Taco

2008-07-22T22:32:19Z

Those were the best fish tacos ever!
*I thieved them from my own fridge*

It's time to go to rehab

2008-07-18T13:41:11Z

Let's play! Who can find the most drunken Amy Winehouse clip?

blurped @ 2008-07-03T18:26:00

2008-07-03T23:27:45Z

Why won't it get out of my BRAIN?!?!?!?!?

blurped @ 2008-07-01T08:32:00

2008-07-01T13:36:09Z

Toilet-trained chimp on the run in Calif. forest

Animal served as owner's best man at wedding; linked to horrific attack

"St. James Davis brought Moe home from Tanzania in 1967 after the baby primate lost his mother to poachers. He and his wife treated Moe as their surrogate son, toilet-training him, teaching him to eat with a knife and fork and letting him sleep in their bed and watch TV. But local authorities didn't view Moe in the same light. For years, the Davises waged a legal battle to keep Moe in their home. They finally lost in 1999 when Moe bit part of a woman's finger off when she inserted her hand in his cage. The Davises said he mistook her red-painted fingernail for his favorite licorice. The incident also came after Moe mauled a police officer's hand. Over the Davises' protests, Moe was taken to an animal sanctuary. But in 2005, when they took a cake to celebrate Moe's birthday with him, the couple was viciously attacked by two other chimpanzees who had escaped their cages. The chimps nearly killed St. James Davis, chewing off his nose, testicles and foot and biting off chunks of his buttocks and legs, before the sanctuary owner shot the animals to death."

He's a very personable, sweet, nice chimp," McCasland said. "He's not going to be aggressive unless he's provoked."

leeeean

2008-06-23T16:29:47Z

Guess who has lost ten pounds?

Iron, bitch!

2008-06-17T13:20:14Z

MSNBC: Man accused of kidnapping ex-girlfriend to get ironing, dishes done

Sirens

2008-06-10T12:37:17Z

Guess what my ringtone is?

icky icky

2008-05-14T19:25:48Z

COOL!

Death Metal Next?

2008-05-09T23:41:04Z

He is 3 years old.
This make me feel so inferior.

blurped @ 2008-05-09T16:11:00

2008-05-09T21:12:13Z

Yo Momma

2008-05-08T13:45:50Z

The website Postcards from Yo Momma collects funny texts and emails from mothers.

nasal irrigator

In other news, your father asked me this morning if he could borrow my nasal irrigator. I got very excited, thinking he was being pro-active in fighting the cold that’s got him sniffling non-stop already. Turns out he just wanted to use the irrigator to inject jelly into the croissants he was baking. I could write a fucking book.

I’ve got to buckle down now and read this new script.

XXOO
MA

there are boobs in it

me:
hi mom
mom:
hi pookie…i just booked tickets for zumanity. miss you
me:
What is zumanity?
mom:
it is a very erotic show that explores sexuality.
hopefully dad will enjoy it
lol it is at new york new york where we are staying
me:
oh dear lord
does dad know about this?
mom:
yeah….it explores gay stuff too
he he
he shold be ok…there are boobs in it too
me:
well i can't click on that right now because i'm at work
mom:
oh…maybe later then

a pleasure talking to you

Thank you for the pictures that I cannot open or even look at. It was a pleasure talking to you last night on the phone when you were more interested in a baseball game than speaking to me.

Let me ask one question, I know what it consists of to put a picture on the email and send it. Especially since I sent you a complete CD of Marta’s wedding. Is it that you don’t think that much of me to send a picture of Anna that I could print??

Anyway thanks.
Your mother

rectal exam

I hope you are feeling better today. Now you have a special area to treat with care. That’s an important orifice as it gets used for most necessary business every day, so make sure it gets respect.
Looking forward to seeing you. That’s an important milestone, graduation from college. Let us know if you want us to bring anything.
mom
(trying to not be toooo mom-like)

diet

Well Dave & I are on a new diet. I’ve lost 15lbs and he’s lost 7lbs but I think he’s cheating and not telling me. He said he thinks his ‘baby’ has decreased and is excited that he can see his crotch again. Please tell him you notice the results he really needs the support.
Call you tomorrow,

Mom

fickle momma

Me:
so i decided i am willing to give it a shot and go on a date with —
Mom:
I don't know if I approve–you know he has a child and had some issues with drugs
Me:
mom I told you that's why I wouldn't see him when you tried to set us up last year and you told me to just give it a chance
Mom:
Did I?

fyi

std’s are on the rise.

love, mom

what the hell!

Ewww - there’s nothing worst than an old penis and balls. Mom

Airborne Corbin

2008-04-30T18:58:09Z

So I never made it to work this morning...I lost control of my bike in some gravel and went completely airborne (which was kinda cool)...until I landed and slid several feet along the gravel Rice bike trail. Apparently onlookers thought it was a pretty impressive crash and so did the 2(!) ambulances and four (or was it 5?) cops that showed up. Now I'm at home staring at the stinging places where my skin has completely been ripped off...my knee, palms, and scrapes from my shoulder down to my forearm. Brave little soldier.

Say the word...VICODIN!

Intelligent Life

2008-04-22T16:43:34Z

QOUTE OF THE WEEK, Stephen Hawking:

"Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare," he then quickly added: "Some would say it has yet to occur on earth."